You can’t make this stuff up. A new product getting ready to launch, the Melon headband “…Turn the invisible activity of your mind visible! Melon’s brainwave monitoring headband listens to the electrical activity naturally given off by your brain…” and transmits the data to our app on your tablet or smartphone!
How does it transmit this brain activity? “…Using Bluetooth 4.0LE, Melon connects to your phone to help you track and train several mental states, including focus, meditation, and relaxation…”
Yes, Bluetooth, the same technology that has been linked to
- brain tumors
- birth defects
- autoimmune illnesses
- multiple sclerosis
- hair loss
Except, now instead of using a headset in your ear, you are actually having the bluetooth transmit RIGHT NEXT TO YOUR BRAIN…no problem, right?
For science to be our god, it must inform and illuminate you: “…The mobile app lets you understand how your behavior affects how you feel and teaches you how to improve…”
But of course this isn’t Mind Control – that would be silly…right?
And just who is this device intended to reach? “… The headband is adjustable in the back to fit all head sizes for people ages 10 and up. Delivery set for Summer 2014….”
Expect to see a bunch of cyborg zombie balloon heads, sitting in Starbuck’s, tuning out and turning on to the blissful sounds of microwaves slowly turning their brain cells into mush this summer if this thing takes off.
What it purports to be:
What it wants to be:
Oh cool! You can get a different colored stripe! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!